CB SPORTS
Gabriel: Good evening, thank you for tuning in tonight to CB Sports. I am Floridian Gabriel Colas and this is my co-host Floridian Carlos Cruz.
Carlos: Good evening my not so lucky non Floridians.
Gabriel/Carlos: Laugh
Gabriel: Tonight, we are going to talk about an athlete. Not just any type of athlete, but a Floridian athlete.
Carlos: Well the state of Florida does give birth to the greatest athletes in the country. But tonight, we are going to speak about the o so controversial Donavon Edwards, Tight End out of Coral Springs Florida. His football athletic ability has giving his audiences a reason to want to watch sports.
Gabriel: I wouldn’t say he is a tremendous athlete but when it comes down to it, it is safe to say that he does his thing on the field. If you know what I mean. Laugh. Clear throat. And I am referring to football here.
Carlos: Confused looks at Gabriel Well let’s take a look at what some of the people have to say about Donavon Edwards.
VIDEO START- Natalie Interview
Interviewer (Alcee): So what do you think about Donavon?
Natalie: Donavon is one of the coolest dudes I know, he’s a great golfer.
Interviewer (Alcee): He’s a football player.
Natalie: O yeah that’s what I meant. I’m kind of hungry, do know what type of soup their serving at the Time Out Café today?
Interviewer (Alcee): We are doing a piece on Donavon Edwards and recording live. Cant that wait?
Natalie: Why are you getting an attitude!? All I did was ask you what type of soup they were having today!
Interviewer(Alcee): Stressed out New England Clam Chowder mam
Natalie: Yes! But what were we talking about?
Interviewer(Alcee): Donavon Edwards
Natalie: O yeah, Oh my gosh I remember one time I saw him like hit this kid and drove him into the ground. Then he got up, stood over the kid and said something to him. I don’t know why but I am really good at reading lips and I am pretty sure that he said “Sit down when you pee”. I don’t know why though, it was just weird.
Interviewer(Alcee): Confused look
VIDEO END
Gabriel: Floridian Carlos, did she just say “Sit down when you pee”?
Carlos: Yep, I am pretty sure that is what she said Floridian Gabriel.
Gabriel: Confused Hmm, well moving on. This 6’1, 240 LB athlete does indeed drive his defenders into the ground during the biggest of games that comes forth to the St Lawrence University Saints. Lets take a look at some of his blocking highlights.
Carlos: Hercules! Hercules! Like Eddie Murphy
Gabriel: Clears throat Well as I was saying, the highlights please.
VIDEO START-Blocking highlights
VIDEO END
Carlos: And we’re back
Gabriel: Oh my, as you can see. Donavon Edwards definitely knows how to have his way with his opponents. Laugh. You got to love talking football, wouldn’t you agree Floridian Carlos Cruz?
Carlos: Absolutely, that’s why I’m in this business. Laugh. But getting back to Donavon, I believe he had a pretty good season and think he will be even better next year.
Gabriel: Under your breath Yea if gets out of study hall.
Carlos: What was that?
Gabriel: Come on Carlos, you know he’s been in study hall for the past four years.
Carlos: He’s a junior, how can it be four years?
Gabriel: Exactly, if this kid doesn’t get his grades up, there will be no better football season for him.
Carlos: I agree, but he’s an athlete. You know that can be taken cared of. Laugh
Gabriel: You know what Floridian Carlos, your absolutely right. It’s a celebration. But now, lets see what others have to say about Donavon.
VIDEO START- Stanley Interview
Interviewer(Alcee): So what do you think about Donavon?
Stanley: O Donavon’s my boy, we been on the team together since freshman year. I remember there was a game that Donavon had dropped a ball in and I told him that I wouldn’t chill wit him anymore if he didn’t make up for it. He looked at me as if I was crazy or something. But you know, without a doubt he went back out there and caught a big first down catch in the third quarter on third down to continue the drive. And that drive resulted in a touchdown. So he did what he had to do and we still chill. But even though I was laughing when I told him I wouldn’t chill wit him anymore if he didn’t make up for it, I was serious. I don’t chill it scrubs.
Interviewer(Alcee): Awkward laugh. What a story Stan da Man. Pause. But you know I think they have that New England Clam Chowder soup at the Time Out Café today, you wanna go get some lunch? That chicken salad with grapes on a pita is amazing.
Stanley: Yo you don’t need to lecture me on Time Out, I know its good. But no, I don’t chill with scrubs.
Interviewer(Alcee): Sad look
VIDEO END
Carlos: Laugh Didn’t that girl from Tic Toc say that to you last weekend Floridian Gabriel?
Gabriel: No, I’m Floridian.
Carlos: My apologies, it must have been New Yorkan Christian Lopez.
Gabriel: Wow, again. Laugh.
Carlos: Well like Stan da Man said Donavon’s catching ability is up to par. It just amazes me that he doesn’t get the ball more. He would be my go-to short yardage receiver every time.
Gabriel: He has a big body that just makes his way through people. If you know what I mean. Laugh. Clear throat. And I am referring to football here.
Carlos: Confused looks at Gabriel Well let’s take a look at Donavon’s catching ability from some of these clips of him playing at St Lawrence University.
VIDEO START-Catching highlights
VIDEO END
Gabriel: What an athlete. Did you see the one that was tipped about three or four times?
Carlos: Indeed I did, Floridian Gabriel.
Gabriel: You know what Floridian Carlos?
Carlos: What’s that?
Gabriel: Watching all these highlights reminds me of my days back in little league. I was the biggest kid on the team. My mom convinced the coach that I had some type of disability that made me that big and that I was the same age as everyone else when in reality I was three years older. That idiot fell for it and I became MVP my 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year of elementary school. Laugh. Memories, memories. Sometimes I wish I could go back.
Carlos: What? Are you serious?
Gabriel: Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?
Carlos: Clear throat. Never mind, I guess its one of those things you need a second opinion on. But in other words, Donavon Edwards, the talk of the town. This kid is going to be great and I hope he continues to climb up among the rankings.
Gabriel: Cutting him off. You know he’s Jamaican right?
Carlos: Well I do, but I was saying the final statements.
Gabriel: Yea but I thought it would be a cool fun fact to add in there.
Carlos: Very well, the Jamaican Floridian athlete Donavon Edwards has been the focus for the night. Good luck to him next season. Thank you all for tuning in tonight for another episode of CB Sports Good night from me Floridian Carlos Cruz and my co-host Floridian Gabriel Colas.
Gabriel: Goodnight. Laugh. And “sit down when you pee”!