Disclaimer: I can’t verify that the following has happened to others, or will happen to me. I can tell you though, that no St. Lawrence University student has ever suffered coronary heart failure due to one too many croissants in France.
We’ve all heard our fair share of conspiracy theories. Actually, as I write this, I can’t think of one solid example of a conspiracy that I feel like writing about. Here, I’ll just do this- “blah blah blah Watergate blah blah blah Iran Contra something blah blah blah I’m ignorant.” So, there is a refresher of AP American history. Anywho, there is no conspiracy theory that is more prevalent, more scandalous, more SAUCY than the “quinze francaise.” I know what you’re doing. You’re sitting there thinking, “what is the French fifteen and why is Sam writing about it?” Well folks, the French fifteen can be summed up by the following…
You’ve returned home from a semester in France. You can tell all of your friends in the United States that they don’t know French cheese because pasteurization laws in the United States require all cheeses to be pasteurized, unlike France. You can literally describe the gastronomy of southern verses northern French meals. You find crumbs near your dinner plate because, after all, you know that bread isn’t so much an appetizer as it is a dishwasher between every section of the meal. You get home and see that your friends talk about Dunkin Doughnuts and Krispy Crème as if it was the most salivating dessert known to man but YOU-you KNOW that a buttery, flaky pain au chocolat is the only way to go when it comes to dessert. I won’t even go into nutella (we’ve all been there.) Anyway, you decide to humor yourself by stepping on a scale back home.
Uh-oh…
You just realized that the dial on your scale has moved about 10 degrees to the right (for those of you with fancy digital scales, it means you gained the QUINZE FRANCAISE (DUH DUH DUHHHH))
You step off the scale-shocked by your bébé du repas (food baby). How could this have happened? Then it all starts to piece together. You realize so many subtleties from your abroad program are finally taking form. Remember all those days that you stepped on a French scale and the ticker moved up one tick? That isn’t one pound. That’s one KILOGRAM (roughly 2.21 pounds)!!!! Although, you probably should have picked up on that when you saw that you weighed 55 pounds. (Seriously, there is no way you dropped 90 pounds on the plane ride over.) And remember that time that your pants fit even though you were feeling bloated from your latest bébé du repas? Your clothes had finished air drying outside and you could put on those nice small jeans you bought specifically to assimilate in the mode française. It was because the French don’t have dryers so your pants that wouldn’t have fit you at all normally in the United States, had taken a liking to your new thunder thighs and love handles (who doesn’t like the endearing term love handles?)
Back to you-you’ve stepped off the scale. You’re pretty much livid. All you want to do is go run five miles and not eat for the next 7 months. I got news for you. It doesn’t have to go down like that.
My co-ecrivain (oh franglais!) and exercise guru Alyssa Halton and I can give you a few pointers to avoid this situation when you apply to, and come to France.
1. Walk to class-it’s like a 45 minute walk, a couple miles (a few more if we’re talking km’s). Luckily for those of you who will live in the heart of the city, you can get a real workout walking up the hill. Believe me, everyone will be staring at the deliciousness that is your calves. For me personally, walking takes a long time so I bike to class. It’s that much more rewarding when you get to the FAC (our classroom) and you are sweating. Gross for others, but believe me, it’s the smell of victory.
2. Eat good food-yes, France is known for her patisseries and boulangeries and all that delicious grandiosity. Just because a baguette costs .45 euros, doesn’t mean that that is good cause to eat bleached flour for every meal. Just because every croissant and pain au chocolat is delicious, doesn’t mean you need one every day. Me personally, I try to save those for the best occasions, like giving directions to French people in Rouen, or Sundays (I don’t know, you pick). For lunch, I have fallen head over heels for the sandwich poulet crudité. It’s chicken with a virtuoso of vegetables that can be savored in a healthy, satisfying way.
3. Public transportation, lame-So that isn’t so much a direction as it is a grammatical mishap. You should really only take the bus when you absolutely have to (when something has a severe time constraint, or when the weather just stinks (which actually hasn’t really happened yet)). The other night, for my 21st birthday, Alyssa and I walked probably 2 miles into the city to meet up with my host brother. Yes we got there later than expected, but the walk was awesome and it sure beats being on a bus. I happened to stumble upon a fantastic view of the city that can’t be reached by bus.
4. Enroll in a sport- Yeah, yeah, yeah-we all want to have an awesome cultural experience that doesn’t require workin’ on yo fitness, but the reality is exercise releases endorphins that make you feel stellar. That will totally enhance your perception of your experiences thus far. All of us on the program enrolled in some athletic activity through the University. Almost everybody else chose the salle de musculation (basically our gym, but lower budget I imagine) or some low impact activity that is fun. I chose to play football (not to be confused with football americain) or capoeira. We’ll see how that goes. Not only will we meet people through doing these programs, but we’ll be able to exercise and just have fun. I am personally looking forward to releasing some stress from my grammar lesson by playing some football with some bros from the FAC.
5. Go for a run-This has been one of the most rewarding things I have done thus far. I took a run the other day in Bois Guillaume which is the suburb adjacent to Mont-St.-Aignan. Not only did I get a good work out in, but I got to explore-running through narrow streets and checking out the Normand architecture that happens to fascinate me. I also found a couple more magasins (shops/boutiques) that will allow me to get my hair cut cheaply or buy some flowers for my host mom when she cooks those delicious meals.
I hope that you take this advice to heart. This was not meant to deter anyone from considering the France program. The reality is, I have not gained or lost a pound (or kilogram, I should say). The France program truly balances the independence of living and going to school in the city, while also perfecting your language skills as a fellow Francophone. So, for those of you who were on the fence about the program before reading this farce, I hope you realize the things that the France program has to offer-great food, even better exercise options, and a fantastic comprehension of one of the most medieval cities in Europe.