just lost my comments. FLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKK
hahah .
ookay. take two.
so. what happened to the words? animated words? Are you still doing that? that will create a TON more interest? And also, not sure if you are up to it, but you are doing a bit of the poet-y voice thing here again that I think is working against the piece. Where the end of each phrase is very strong and too bold and lacking variation???
The ending is beautiful. The performance (speaking) of the ending is nice in that it lets me down a bit, gives me a bit of pause from the very consistent vocal delivery of the beginning, the visuals are varied and lets me down and lets me glimpse you and works very well with the actual language.
So, let me know what you are thinking of doing next.
I have to be at the NCAT at 10am tomorrow morning.
When where you planning on meeting? We can do anytime, even briefly at 9am and then head over there together.
nope. I take it back.
I know what it is. it is not the poet-y thing.
It is the too much overlapping.
I like the variety of emotions, it is just that with the overlapping I have to strain too much to hear all of the words. I want to hear!! All of it!
Genocide!!
There will be a cost!
the anger there.
Then there is sadness.
I like to hear all of it, so I would suggest opening up some of that. leaving gaps. I think that the gaps will create power in your words.
Also: I want a third pill!!! WHAT IS THE THIRD PILL!?
hahhahah and now I shall copy this so as to not lose it when I fail the captcha test.
just lost my comments. FLAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKK
hahah .
ookay. take two.
so. what happened to the words? animated words? Are you still doing that? that will create a TON more interest? And also, not sure if you are up to it, but you are doing a bit of the poet-y voice thing here again that I think is working against the piece. Where the end of each phrase is very strong and too bold and lacking variation???
The ending is beautiful. The performance (speaking) of the ending is nice in that it lets me down a bit, gives me a bit of pause from the very consistent vocal delivery of the beginning, the visuals are varied and lets me down and lets me glimpse you and works very well with the actual language.
So, let me know what you are thinking of doing next.
I have to be at the NCAT at 10am tomorrow morning.
When where you planning on meeting? We can do anytime, even briefly at 9am and then head over there together.
write!! xoxo
Posted May 15, 2011, 3:15 pmnope. I take it back.
I know what it is. it is not the poet-y thing.
It is the too much overlapping.
I like the variety of emotions, it is just that with the overlapping I have to strain too much to hear all of the words. I want to hear!! All of it!
Genocide!!
There will be a cost!
the anger there.
Then there is sadness.
I like to hear all of it, so I would suggest opening up some of that. leaving gaps. I think that the gaps will create power in your words.
Also: I want a third pill!!! WHAT IS THE THIRD PILL!?
hahhahah and now I shall copy this so as to not lose it when I fail the captcha test.
Posted May 15, 2011, 3:20 pmDIDN’T FAIL!!
PASSED!!
and they wonder why I teach?
Posted May 15, 2011, 3:20 pmIt is because I can pass the captcha. duh.