Reflection:

I had a lot of fun doing this project, even though I didn’t get some of the shots I wanted to. I’m very pleased with how it all turned out and may work on it a bit more later. I was asked what I was thinking about when i went about doing this, to be honest I’m not entirely sure. When I act/perform I really feel like I become the person I’m portraying. In this case I really sort of became the older brother I always wanted/envisioned myself to be for my younger siblings. This brother isn’t necessarily ideal or perfect in anyway. He’s caring, protective, and strong, but like any real brother can be a jerk, or a show-off, or just a general clown too. I guess my point is that I never had an idealistic view of what a big brother should be. I was probably also thinking what I’d be like as a boy and…well…I’m pretty sure I’d be all of those things too, probably a bit more obnoxious than I am in girl form, but maybe a bit more respectful (cus girls can get away with disrespect a lot easier than guys can).
Even though this project was really fun it kind of creeped me out too. I started having questions about my gender that never occurred to me before. I know that I’m heterosexual without any real doubt, and I love being a female–but I think I really do subconsciously want to play the gender role of boy pretty bad. It just seems so appealing to me somehow.

I wish I had a big brother to…

…keep nightmares away.

…make me laugh.

…comfort me.

…chill with me.

…protect me.

Some Notes: Didn’t get to do any of the shoots with guys cus the male “models” I asked were busy with midterm stuff and I’m very particularly about who I chose D: (I don’t feel comfortable working physically with people I don’t know very well or have that level of friendship with–which is part of the reason why I quit acting XD). I would still like to do those pictures though, but it’ll just have to wait for another time.